Do as I say, not as I do!

I have always loved baking. The only think I've loved more than baking is probably eating! Food is an odd thing for me. It causes me a lot of comfort. I have felt great loss because of it (and gain at one point in my life, hee hee). It frustrates me, and it allows me to escape from difficult things I should be focusing on. As a child I had a lot of serious food allergies. My symptoms were pretty typical - wheezing, runny nose, swollen eyes, hives, etc. They went away for a while during puberty and then came back as digestive complaints at first and now I'm noticing asthma again. But somehow I'm always drawn to it.

I think my fascination with food started when I was really young. I had a bit of a difficult childhood, but I always loved going to my grandparents' house. My grandmother was always baking and I would get lost in her kitchen for hours. I must have driven her nuts because I talked nearly the whole time. She always had a lot of patience and let me participate (even if it meant me wearing half of what was meant for the pan). Fast forward 25 years, and I'm in a kitchen baking food I rarely eat just to be baking and around the aromas that come with creating new things.

My latest allergy development caused me to lose it a bit. I am so disciplined about food. It had been 2 months since I had any fruit or sweetener (agave, yacon, anything). I decided that I was going to eat what I wanted and deal with the consequences. The consequences really weren't that bad. My stomach bugged me a little after the waffles, but things calmed down and I ate a big range of stuff that I shouldn't have.

This morning I thought it would catch up with me, but I was still feeling pretty good. I had some delicious gluten free, vegan lemon loaf I made this weekend for breakfast and some quinoa salad for lunch. I was feeling tired, but thought that overall I was doing well. Then I looked in the mirror. Dark circles loomed under my eyes and I looked pale. When I got home I downed a bunch of guacamole with vegetables, dulse, and some raw olives. The circles have died down quite a bit, so I think it's time for me to re-learn moderation. I've basked in the glory of baked goods and it's time to calm down and only indulge in a small amount on rare occasions. I say good luck to me :)