Day 3 of 100% Raw

I am feeling much better today. No headache, dizziness, or confusion, and I woke up much less stiff. I don't think I got a fever today. I have more energy, so I'm hoping I can focus a little more at work tomorrow.

I was feeling a little down today because it was a little rough at work and I managed to get lost on the way to a dental appointment (Seattle streets can still be so confusing to me downtown). Oh well. My mom stopped by and we went to dinner at Chaco Canyon Cafe in the U District. They don't have a huge raw section on their menu, but what they do have I'm not allergic to (yay!) and their desserts are very good. I went with the raw Cilantro Walnut pesto with raw zucchini "noodles" and sea vegetable noodles. Mom and I split the raw raspberry tart - which was delicious. I also had some raw chocolate fudge, which was also very good. Mom had a cooked vegan dish she liked. I think Lance and I are going to plan on eating out once a week to make meal prep a little less stressful. Preparing every meal, especially on days where I feel like garbage, is a chore. It's worth it, but it is nice to have a break now and then. I'm very lucky to have raw vegan restaurant options.

I got Lance a book by Brandon Brazier on Brandon's training schedule and food philosophy. He seems pretty open and wants to start decreasing the amount of processed and starchy foods in his diet. Yay. I can also learn something from the exercise section and start walking more to ramp up.

Detoxing. Fun.

I think one of the harder things about restarting a raw diet and sticking with it is the detox period. Being on day 2 of 100% (minus cacao I suppose and green tea) raw, I've got dark circles, nausea, a headache, and some crankiness. Gah, and I have BO! Running to the bathroom regularly. My energy levels are OK, but I wasn't comfortable driving home with a headache and dizziness. I'm not sure it's not calorie related...It was hard to eat the amount I needed with a lot of nausea.

Today I've had:
Marrionberry Smoothie with cacao, yacon syrup, hemp seeds, and a little maca
2 oranges
kale wraps with spring onion macadamia "cheese"
vegetable soup (OMG disgusting - I made it from a recipe in a book and they must be later stage raw vegans... early on, it just is not good) I'll try to tweak the recipe to suit my tastes, but it may be a total loss

I had some raw chocolate bar, and that sent me over the edge in the caffiene department so I felt like a spaz.

I got home and downed a bowl of raw sauerkraut and now am having raw halva (sesame seeds ground mixed with raw tahini, agave, cinnamon, and salt)

I shouldn't do much fruit because my results came back and I have Candida from all of the antibiotics I've been on and STILL have C. Difficile. It's very frustrating. I'm on Sacro b. for the c. difficile, probiotics, and will be starting Nystatin. My diet before was a lot of cooked food, but still a whole foods diet without prepackaged or processed foods. I was half raw, but I'm still detoxing.

It has been really hard dealing with bacteria and my lupus symptoms coming back. I think I'm on the right track again, but getting through the first week or two is going to be tough. I'm hoping detoxing doesn't last too long. The Nystatin will help me deal with the Candida quickly, but it will be rough and I'll probably have to detox all over again even if I stick to all raw. I've already had fevers and flu like symptoms for weeks because of the Candida, and die off will not be fun. The levels this time were higher than the first time I had Candida. It seems like symptoms kick up when I have anything that it off (garlic especially).

Bah Humbug.

I bought a Vitamix!!!

I went to the rawvegansource.com store in Redmond yesterday. I was running low on a few things I love to get there - they have raw cashews that are not steamed or processed during shelling along with other hard to find raw foods. I also buy most of my bulk cacao there. Cacao (chocolate) is not really a raw food, but I still consider it a super food with benefits. Cacao is not raw because the beans are usually allowed to ferment over 145 degrees, which is well over the temperature tolerated by raw purists. I also love going there because the owners are so passionate and knowledgeable.

I have to say I've been far from raw and a few days a week I've been eating fish. I've still been on a whole food diet with zero preservatives, additives, sugars, or other foods I'm allergic to. This is better than the Standard American Diet full of processed foods, but I've been so tired. It is so easy to find excuses not to be raw, and that is all they are - excuses! After my last trip to the ER, it was so much easier just to eat whatever was being cooked for me. I didn't have any energy and the thought of preparing food in massive quantities wasn't appealing. I've also been having problems eating because I have bacteria in my gut that make me really nauseated. Having said all of that, I realize that when I am on close to 100% raw, I feel better. My body responds well to it and I don't drop the weight that I'm losing again now and I have more energy. It takes energy to make raw food, but it pays quickly.

I was speaking to Susan at the Raw Vegan Source store, and it was the kick in the pants I needed to recommit to raw foods. And my wonderful new Vitamix doesn't hurt. I walked away from the store excited to get back on the right path, armed with new info, more food, and my super awesome blender. I am really excited about my Vitamix, if you haven't noticed already. Last night I made a peach, raspberry, cashew smoothie. I've never had a raspberry smoothie where I didn't have to choke down the seeds - it's like gravel in a normal blender. With the Vitamix, I barely noticed them. My husband is laughing right now because I sound like an infomercial, but dang it, I love my Vitamix. He really is laughing harder now. He wasn't laughing when he had his marionberry smoothie this morning and then sucked the leftovers out of the container.

I've got my raw vegan recipe books out, I'm scouring goneraw.com, and I'm going to make soup this afternoon. Yay me, and here's to day 1 of as close to 100% raw vegan as I can be.

Drug Induced Lupus

I believe that Drug Induced Lupus (DIL) is more common than people realize. I've met a couple people now that have had DIL - one person was taking an anti-acne medication and the other was taking a blood pressure medication currently involved in a law suit for causing lupus.

Typically, DIL begins several months after taking the medication. The symptoms are very similar to lupus and range from joint and muscle pain to rashes. Oftentimes ANA titers go up while the medication is in the patient's system and quickly go down (along with the symptoms) after the medication is discontinued.

A few weeks ago, I got a text message on my cell phone asking if it was possible for lupus to come on after two weeks. Those of us with lupus would see this as a red flag for "real" lupus. Lupus often takes years to diagnose (and sometimes to even suspect), and once a diagnosis is reached, it's usually an "a-ha!" moment. The odd problems that couldn't be diagnosed when I was young to all of the smaller autoimmune problems leading up to lupus just seemed to fit into place after diagnosis. I'd had health problems for years that were gradually getting more prominent. It usually doesn't just develop into full blown lupus when the person was previously healthy. I received the text message from my best friend because her mother had just heard that she probably had lupus from her general practitioner - which was another red flag. Lupus is very hard to diagnose because there is no one test for it, and even rhuematologists who suspect Lupus don't usually bring it up to the patient unless they are pretty convinced and have spent a number of months (or years) working with the patient. I immediately texted back and asked what medication she had been taking and was able to find that the medication was part of a class action law suit and part of a research study because of its link to lupus. It turns out her doctor was very bright and recognized the medication and immediately threw it in the trash.

Medications that cause lupus symptoms typical need to be taken months before causing lupus like symptoms but not in my friend's mom's case. She took the medication sporadically when her blood pressure was up over the course of a few weeks. She is slowly feeling better, but it is taking more time that I usually hear from DIL. She is in my thoughts and I hope she continues to improve. Her symptoms had even a stronger resemblance to classic lupus symptoms than I have and it was amazing how quickly she felt drained, sore, and had a malar rash (something I've never developed).

If you suspect you have lupus and are on any medications, please research the medication and any association it may have with lupus symptoms or drug induced lupus. There are a wide array of drugs that have been linked to DIL. It makes me wonder about the medications we trust...

For more information on Drug Induced Lupus, please visit the Lupus Foundation of America's article:
http://www.lupus.org/webmodules/webarticlesnet/templates/new_aboutaffects.aspx?articleid=377&zoneid=17

Please also consider going to pubmed.com and typing in your medication along with the word "Lupus".

Using Positive Attitude to Heal

I don't really believe that one can heal just with the power of their mind, meditating and healing without making other large life changes. I do believe that your mindset determines whether or not you will heal. I do believe that we are much more in control of our bodies and lives than we like to admit.

I have been working long hours, and am thankful I can now. A few years ago, I had my worst flare and with it came a lot of mental confusion and I was barely able to function. My boss and his boss and other managers were incredibly supportive and stood by me while I was trying to get a diagnosis and put my life back together. As I regained my health (and cognition) I was given projects that were difficult and they put their trust in me. I was able to throw myself into my work, and it was a welcome break from trying to process everything that was happening in my life. Now when I have periodic set backs and am in the ER or out for a few days, they are very encouraging and try to help. They continue to invest in my career. They know that I do not use my disease as a crutch, I am still just as capable, and I think they see that I try to pull my weight and then some.

I was recently approached by a recruiter, and that made me re-evaluate my position in the company and how I felt about everyone there. I know it is very rare to work for a company that comes together as a community when someone is going through a crisis. My coworkers have offered to help and support me in any way they can. In return, I have devoted myself to my job. They have recognized my work. And this week, I even was picked from the thousand+ employees in the company to be a part of President's Club and got a trip for my husband and I with an elite group of coworkers to Hawaii on a cruise! How cool is that? They have earned my loyalty, a concept that is often forgotten in this economy. It sounds like I am drinking the company Koolaid, but it truly is a great work environment. The CEO has worked very hard to create a community and it is the first company I have worked for that earnestly works to support personal growth and allow people to continue in their career path without having to quit and work elsewhere for a promotion.

How does positive thinking feed into all of this? At our National Sales Meeting they invited a motivational speaker. Mike Schlappi is a normal person who was put through some extremely difficult circumstances and came out on the other side with a phenomenal outlook on life. When Mike was 15, he was accidentally shot by his best friend. That bullet narrowly missed his heart, only because it was on an up-beat, and he was paralyzed. At the age of 15, Mike had a completely life altering event descend upon his life. He went from the star athlete, to someone who was forced to sit on the sidelines of the high school basketball court, in the handicapped section, and watch. Many people would have sank into a profound depression, and I'm sure he had those days, but he opted for positive thinking to heal his heart and accept his circumstances. Mike is now a very successful motivational speaker, and has medaled in four world paralympics with two golds and two bronzes in basketball. His trademark phrase came from his mother: "If you can't stand up, stand out!"

It was a difficult speech to sit through. People cried, but I think mostly we were just impressed that a young man decided to pick himself up by his bootstraps at the age of 15 and do more than just do the best they could with what they had. This man led a fuller life than most able bodied people I know. He had been through so much, yet my thoughts went back to how his attitude applied to my own life. I don't think he would have minded, because Mike realizes everyone has their own bullet. I also think everyone has or will have a bullet and how they respond to that bullet will shape their lives. I should have spoken to him afterwards, but knew I would end up talking about my own struggles and didn't want to sound shallow, or I would say something stupid. I think I missed out there, but I did take away quite a bit.

When I first was diagnosed with lupus, I did a lot of reading. I still think that was the right choice and all people should be as educated as possible. But. There are a lot of negative things to read about. Lifespan statistics. What we are likely to develop down the road. Quality of life. I spent quite a bit of time crying. I think I was mourning for the perception I had lost - my body was something that wouldn't wear out so easily. I didn't know how long I would live or what the next few years would hold, let alone whether or not my life would go beyond that. There were days where I didn't want to get out of bed, and I think I felt like I was owed special consideration from others. I was even mad at God. Ironically, as time went by, a really morbid thought ended up turning my thoughts around to a more positive way of thinking. I was driving along on 99 near the Aurora bridge, and wasn't really paying attention. I was in the middle lane and a bus had merged onto the freeway. For those of you who don't know this bridge, buses take up two lanes whether someone is in that other lane or not, and boy did I learn to get out of the way that day. I started swearing at the bus driver, and then realized, "I could get hit by a bus today or tomorrow." And then I started laughing.

Life is the result of the series of choices we have made in our life. We have to live with all of them, and each one changes our future. I decided that if I got hit by a bus, I wanted to be able to look on the day I lived prior to that, and the day before that, and the day before that, with pride. I wanted to be able to point to someone with dignity and courage. I wanted to point to someone who didn't lie in bed everyday under the covers moping - I wanted to point to someone who pulled herself up by her bootstraps and didn't just make the best of what she had. I wanted to point to someone who proactively improved her situation and lived a fuller life than most, whether she had a chronic disease or not.

I don't think I am an optimist by nature. I think I tend to run a little lower than most, and I can have bouts where I am down. Oddly, my outlook on life as a whole is fairly positive. I try my darnedest to do what I can to improve my health. I eat right, take my vitamins, and do my research. I am proactive about my medical decisions. I need to exercise more, but I'll get there. I think I'll be successful in my career, and I think I have a lot left to offer the people around me. I also realize that we are responsible for our own happiness and our own decisions, and I am going to own those decisions and try to lead the best life I can. I am still going to have days where I don't feel well and am scared because I am having a hard time walking. That doesn't mean I am going to feel the same way tomorrow, and even if I do, I can still have a positive impact on myself and others. I can still be a great wife, coworker, and family member.

Here is a link to Mike Schlappi's site:
http://www.mikeschlappi.com/

Here is a link to one of Mike's books:
http://www.amazon.com/Shot-Happens-Mike-Schlappi/dp/1615842470/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263095065&sr=8-1